walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
