Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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