I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
