I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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