Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
