wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
