My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
