Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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