Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Randomize
Follow @tfln