U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.