Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
