So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
