i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you mean i was at the winter classic?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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