OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
