Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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