Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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