please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
