You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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