If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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