Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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