it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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