You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
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Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
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I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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