My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Who died my cat blue again?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize