There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
