if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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