So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize