I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
