she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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