The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
