He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
