If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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