i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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