Who did Billy Mays play for?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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