the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
