Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
