your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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