I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
honey bunches of taint.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
