I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
