I need help removing her.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
