I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize