so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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