Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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