do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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