something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
