Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
