? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You left your phone here
Wait...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
