I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I am mentally ready for anal.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
