you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize