i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
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She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
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Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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