Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
someone owes me an orgasm
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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