just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize