You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
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I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
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Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize