I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
