im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I love you. Go after that dick
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
