she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
