And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
