I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
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at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
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I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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