Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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