omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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