Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you will always have a special place in my vag
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
