we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
